Yeah so I often think of the Miranda Lambert song "Heart Like Mine" because (I'm sure alot of people say this) but its a pretty accurate description of me. The chorus says "Well I heard Jesus He drank wine and I'd bet we'd get along just fine. He could calm the storms and heal the blind and I'd bet he'd understand a heart like mine."
I know that I'm not the most likeable person and this is a message to all of those who are my "friend" on Facebook but you don't particularly care for me.
This is where I begin to slightly rant just fyi:
I consider myself to be pretty cultured when it comes to other Christian religions other than Catholicism. One thing about Christians in general that I've never been able to quite figure out is that some have a very skewed view of the world. People try to keep their children from the "evils" of this world and from people who are "a bad influence". If you ask me, which you didn't but who care, that's absolutely ludicrous! Living life like a horse with blinders is so uncultured and that's how we end up with stupid things like stereotypes. LIVE LIFE!!! Its OK to let your children explore the world. Now some uber Christian parent reading this may say, "Now Christina," (here's where I roll my eyes), "you don't have any children so how can you know this?" Excellent question!! I don't know this. Its just my philosophy on life and if you think I'm wrong congratulations you have just thought for yourself! Those same parent may also say, "Well the Bible says", (this is where I dramatically sigh), " that parents are to raise their children to be good Christians and live according to God's plan". My response: yes that may be true but the Bible doesn't say shelter your children that they are naive to the rest of the world.
I guess in a way I'm so tired of being judged by people who don't really know me and take the word of other people on my character rather than just taking the time to talk to me and get to know me. It has recently come to my attention that people call me, as they once called Socrates one of the greatest minds to ever lived, a bad influence for their children. To a certain extent I would agree with you. If you think that someone who tries to show kids that there's more than one way to look at the world bad then yeah I'm a terrible influence and I should be stoned.
To my most recent Socratic charge, my response: yup and I'm proud to show the world without a biblical filter. Yes I go to clubs, yes I can sometimes be rather lude. I AM ME. If you don't like it MOVE ALONG! If your kids like me then they're smart. LET OTHER PEOPLE MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS!!!
Because I'm a nice person I won't mention names but I'm just fed up with being judged by people who "claim" to not judge others....lest ye be judged right?
I may be a "heathen" by some people's standards, but I love the Lord. I know how to pray. I am by no means passing judgement on a specific religion or sect of religion, I am simply stating observations that I have experienced. And if you happen to be reading this and think this pertains to you then feel free to express your feelings OF me TO me and not let me have to hear it through the grapevines. :)
And I started with Miranda so I'll end with Miranda. In the same song I mentioned in the beginning she say, "I fly away from it all today" and that's what I plan to do as well <3
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Froggy Went A-courtin'...and Was Left Wanting........
*If you haven't read "Froggy went a-courtin'" then I would suggest you read that one first but completely up to you*
So this blog is allllll about the concept of friends with benefits(FWB). There was just a movie made about it that some may say glamourizes the idea of just being fuck buddies (sorry if my language offends you....well I'm not that sorry but whatever) but it will actually slightly support my side of it.
I used to be all for the idea of FWB until I realized that it was just objectifying both parties. Some people, especially those of the male gender, don't seem to understand that. But think of it this way: just hooking up with someone is making them something for you to use to bring pleasure to yourself. Even if both parties are ok with that its still making the other person an object only useful for sexual purposes. Because I am not ashamed of what I've don't I'll use myself as an example, but first. In that movie with Aston Kutcher and Natalie Portman (?) they want to be FWB but end up falling in love with each other, pretty typical movie plot line. But, the true thing about the story that I like was that they showed that no matter how much you try you CANNOT TAKE THE FEELINGS OUT OF SEX. No matter how much you try sex cannot be just sex there are always going to be pre, during, and post feelings no matter how much you try to suppress them.
So one of my stories. (don't worry I'm not using really names I would hate for someone to get called out for their bull shit (actually I would like to call them out but that would bring more unnecessary conflict to my life). So recently I have had many offers for FWBs which isn't that unusual but I have found myself in several situations where me and a guy weren't on the same page on the nature of our relationship. One imparticular that I am still trippin on and will probably be kicking myself for a while about is I fools around and got intimate with someone (we'll call him Tin Man)that I've know for the majority of my life. So what had happened was.......we kinda took our relationship from "hey I know your name"---> aquaintences--> friends---> maybe we should be more than friends--> FWB within a year. That sound relativly healthy in theory, but I was under the impression that there would be one more progression from FWB--> an actual relationship. I really like Tin Man and still do I think he could possibly be a soul mate, but I may never know because it was "just a one time thing" as he said. The bad part is no matter how hard I try to suppress my feeling they will come up when I see him at church ( so those of you that know me that well can filter through and maybe have an idea about who I'm talking about [if you have an idea send me a message and tell me I'd like to see who you think it is]). But yeah one of many examples that sex is not just sex.
For some reason its hard to find guys these days that are looking for more than a FWB and when you do there's an issue; he doesn't like you, your not attracted to him, your polar opposites, you have nothing in common, ect. So if you've got a good man or a good lady keep them cause its super hard to find good ones!
As I was writing this blog I was listening to one of my favorite artists Ms. Jill Scott and I heard her songs "Celibacy Blues" and "Wanna be Love"(go get them they're awesome!). These songs brings me comfort when I think about some of the situations I've put myself in. In "Wanna be loved" she says " Don't feel no pitty for me cause I'm going through some thangs" and that's what I wanna say to ya'll. Just cause your life isn't that great don't go looking for pitty from others (especially not from me cause you'll find mine in the dictionary). She also says "All my life I had a constant burning, A strong deep,desire, An aching ambiguous,yearning, For something better, For something bigger, For something wider, For something higher, And lots of regrets,
Cause I ain't seem to found it yet......I just wanna be loved" And that kinda sums up me right about now.
Although I can go on and on and on about situations like the one 3 paragraphs up I won't. My point is that FWBs are not healthy. If you want to have sex that badly then take a cold shower or find another "alternative" or , here's a radical idea, find a significant other that you get to know and like and then progress to the point in a relationship where physical intimacy is appropriate for the 2 of you. I'm not promoting premarital sex nor am I judging those of us that do it I'm simply just trying to inform other of the mental consequences of FWBs. Like the title says you may be left wanting.
And to Tin Man if your reading this, which you probably won't but anywho, hopefully you understand what I've been feeling over the last year or so and will want to talk about it.
-Deuces, Musically T
So this blog is allllll about the concept of friends with benefits(FWB). There was just a movie made about it that some may say glamourizes the idea of just being fuck buddies (sorry if my language offends you....well I'm not that sorry but whatever) but it will actually slightly support my side of it.
I used to be all for the idea of FWB until I realized that it was just objectifying both parties. Some people, especially those of the male gender, don't seem to understand that. But think of it this way: just hooking up with someone is making them something for you to use to bring pleasure to yourself. Even if both parties are ok with that its still making the other person an object only useful for sexual purposes. Because I am not ashamed of what I've don't I'll use myself as an example, but first. In that movie with Aston Kutcher and Natalie Portman (?) they want to be FWB but end up falling in love with each other, pretty typical movie plot line. But, the true thing about the story that I like was that they showed that no matter how much you try you CANNOT TAKE THE FEELINGS OUT OF SEX. No matter how much you try sex cannot be just sex there are always going to be pre, during, and post feelings no matter how much you try to suppress them.
So one of my stories. (don't worry I'm not using really names I would hate for someone to get called out for their bull shit (actually I would like to call them out but that would bring more unnecessary conflict to my life). So recently I have had many offers for FWBs which isn't that unusual but I have found myself in several situations where me and a guy weren't on the same page on the nature of our relationship. One imparticular that I am still trippin on and will probably be kicking myself for a while about is I fools around and got intimate with someone (we'll call him Tin Man)that I've know for the majority of my life. So what had happened was.......we kinda took our relationship from "hey I know your name"---> aquaintences--> friends---> maybe we should be more than friends--> FWB within a year. That sound relativly healthy in theory, but I was under the impression that there would be one more progression from FWB--> an actual relationship. I really like Tin Man and still do I think he could possibly be a soul mate, but I may never know because it was "just a one time thing" as he said. The bad part is no matter how hard I try to suppress my feeling they will come up when I see him at church ( so those of you that know me that well can filter through and maybe have an idea about who I'm talking about [if you have an idea send me a message and tell me I'd like to see who you think it is]). But yeah one of many examples that sex is not just sex.
For some reason its hard to find guys these days that are looking for more than a FWB and when you do there's an issue; he doesn't like you, your not attracted to him, your polar opposites, you have nothing in common, ect. So if you've got a good man or a good lady keep them cause its super hard to find good ones!
As I was writing this blog I was listening to one of my favorite artists Ms. Jill Scott and I heard her songs "Celibacy Blues" and "Wanna be Love"(go get them they're awesome!). These songs brings me comfort when I think about some of the situations I've put myself in. In "Wanna be loved" she says " Don't feel no pitty for me cause I'm going through some thangs" and that's what I wanna say to ya'll. Just cause your life isn't that great don't go looking for pitty from others (especially not from me cause you'll find mine in the dictionary). She also says "All my life I had a constant burning, A strong deep,desire, An aching ambiguous,yearning, For something better, For something bigger, For something wider, For something higher, And lots of regrets,
Cause I ain't seem to found it yet......I just wanna be loved" And that kinda sums up me right about now.
Although I can go on and on and on about situations like the one 3 paragraphs up I won't. My point is that FWBs are not healthy. If you want to have sex that badly then take a cold shower or find another "alternative" or , here's a radical idea, find a significant other that you get to know and like and then progress to the point in a relationship where physical intimacy is appropriate for the 2 of you. I'm not promoting premarital sex nor am I judging those of us that do it I'm simply just trying to inform other of the mental consequences of FWBs. Like the title says you may be left wanting.
And to Tin Man if your reading this, which you probably won't but anywho, hopefully you understand what I've been feeling over the last year or so and will want to talk about it.
-Deuces, Musically T
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Froggy went a-courtin'
Sup blog-followers
So recently I've been thinking about "dating" in our society. I"m not sure if you've heard the song Froggy went a-courtin'...if not look it up its a little nursery rhyme of sort. but that's where I got the title from just fyi.
Remember back in the day when dating was going out on a date......those were the good old days. Now I've noticed more and more people are skipping the "courting" phase of the dating process and going straight into the "going together", going steady, in a relationship part.
I have no problem with monogamy if that's what you're getting to. I am actually a supporter of it (I'll get to that later). But now it seems that in our society teens, and some kids, get way too serious way too fast. For example, I know several people that are in high school that have met someone and within a few days was "dating" them. Now I'm not a hypocrite so I will go ahead and admit that I was guilty of this crime in my younger days, but now I know better.
Back to my topic...lol dating and the confusion in society. I have been single for aprox. 3 months and have changed my view on it completely. I have decided to go back to the old school style and court a few guys and then decipher who it is I feel the most compatable with. Some people say that what I'm doing is unfair and cheating and being a player, pimpette, hoebag, but my response is that I am not monogamous so therefore I can do as I please. I just wanted to make this suggestion to all those out there that are single: don't tie yourself down so quickly especially ladies. Test the waters out and then become monogamous.
*Look out for a follow up blog on my take of friends with benefits coming up within the hour entitled "Froggy Went A-Courtin'....and Was Found Wanting...."
So recently I've been thinking about "dating" in our society. I"m not sure if you've heard the song Froggy went a-courtin'...if not look it up its a little nursery rhyme of sort. but that's where I got the title from just fyi.
Remember back in the day when dating was going out on a date......those were the good old days. Now I've noticed more and more people are skipping the "courting" phase of the dating process and going straight into the "going together", going steady, in a relationship part.
I have no problem with monogamy if that's what you're getting to. I am actually a supporter of it (I'll get to that later). But now it seems that in our society teens, and some kids, get way too serious way too fast. For example, I know several people that are in high school that have met someone and within a few days was "dating" them. Now I'm not a hypocrite so I will go ahead and admit that I was guilty of this crime in my younger days, but now I know better.
Back to my topic...lol dating and the confusion in society. I have been single for aprox. 3 months and have changed my view on it completely. I have decided to go back to the old school style and court a few guys and then decipher who it is I feel the most compatable with. Some people say that what I'm doing is unfair and cheating and being a player, pimpette, hoebag, but my response is that I am not monogamous so therefore I can do as I please. I just wanted to make this suggestion to all those out there that are single: don't tie yourself down so quickly especially ladies. Test the waters out and then become monogamous.
*Look out for a follow up blog on my take of friends with benefits coming up within the hour entitled "Froggy Went A-Courtin'....and Was Found Wanting...."
Friday, March 11, 2011
Fuck you!!! (oo ooo oooo) Gas Station Bitch!
So I've been jamming to Cee Lo Green's Fuck you lately and I just want to send a special message out to alllllll my hatters 2 in particular.... I see you driving round town with this bitch you fuck and I'm like Fuck you and your gas station hoe too!!! Peace Out :)
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
That dreaded day.......
Well blog readers, that day is almost here. YES.....the day that drives men crazy and women even crazier....Valentine's Day. I am yet again Valentine-less. This is one of the holidays that I do NOT support. Its just a publicized excuse for couples to makeout where ever they damn well please. Its an excuse for girls to get presents and guys to get laid...(or so they hope lol). Its frustrating and slightly sickening, but I sadly have fallen prey to that feminine desire to want someone to snuggle with on V-day.
Anywho topic two of this blog....books. Yeah i know it doesn't seem like that 's something that follows that into but I promise they're kinda sorta linked. So about 3 weeks ago a little birdy told me that sometimes guys feel intimidated by girls that read. Now before you start burning bras and saying that all men hate intelligent women that's not what he meant. What he meant was that girls sometimes read books like Twilight or some other books geared towards teen girls (or that little hint of femininity in all girls) and guys are intimidated by the books themselves. They feel like they have to live up to the guys in these books and do exactly as they do other wise their actions go unappreciated. No I can't speak for all girls, but I know the difference between reality and fiction literature. I know that there are maybe 0.1% of guys out there that may possess some of the qualities that guys in novels posses and that they are in high demand so I'm not expecting every guy I meet to be an Edwards Cullen or a Jacob Black.
Here lately I've been reading this series called Drama High by L.Divine. She's an excellent Black author that writes for educated black girls/women. The main character in her book (and several others)reminds me of myself; she's strong minded, she has alot of drama surrounding her (that she's always dragged into) and she's smart and criticized by others for it.
Now how does that link with what I was saying? Guys and girls a like have no idea what the other one wants. You may think you know, but you don't! It slightly frustrates me that some guys have the mentality that they can't do anything romantic because it won't be appreciated or it won't be enough. If your girl is a trick (i.e. little girl) then yeah you risk her not liking it. If she's a girl then she's most likely think anything you do is cute, but she may have "ideas" about what "romantic" is. But if you have a mature girl (i.e. a woman not a little girl though I'd argue you can be a mature girl and not a woman and a woman on the outside, but a little girl on the inside) then romantic is just showing her you care.
I personally read books like Drama High because that's honestly the only place I can find romance because guys these days can be trifillin'. They either don't want to try to be romantic or they don't know how. The days of the gentlemen are gone. Now it's all about who has the biggest car and who has slept with the most girls well at least black guys. And then you have your pretty boys who take more time getting read than some girls. And the actual nice black guys are either taken or in a subcategory of the larger MISC. category. And white guys, most that I've encountered, can't handle me. They say I"m too loud or a bitch or too outspoken and I say....oh well forget you!....And other guys I just haven't dated or come in contact with so it wouldn't be fair to say something about their view of me. Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to judge these are just observations and there are of course exceptions to every rule.
I could go on and on but I won't lol. So this Valentine's day I'll either be staying inside and avoiding couples at all costs or be on a date with some lucky guy. But if your a 1 of 2, then Happy V day to ya'll and enjoy each others company and love. And if your a single like me then hey all I can say is keep looking and love will find you or be content as you are. Happy V day everyone and maybe next time I'll have a more happy blog.
Peace, Music, and Love
Anywho topic two of this blog....books. Yeah i know it doesn't seem like that 's something that follows that into but I promise they're kinda sorta linked. So about 3 weeks ago a little birdy told me that sometimes guys feel intimidated by girls that read. Now before you start burning bras and saying that all men hate intelligent women that's not what he meant. What he meant was that girls sometimes read books like Twilight or some other books geared towards teen girls (or that little hint of femininity in all girls) and guys are intimidated by the books themselves. They feel like they have to live up to the guys in these books and do exactly as they do other wise their actions go unappreciated. No I can't speak for all girls, but I know the difference between reality and fiction literature. I know that there are maybe 0.1% of guys out there that may possess some of the qualities that guys in novels posses and that they are in high demand so I'm not expecting every guy I meet to be an Edwards Cullen or a Jacob Black.
Here lately I've been reading this series called Drama High by L.Divine. She's an excellent Black author that writes for educated black girls/women. The main character in her book (and several others)reminds me of myself; she's strong minded, she has alot of drama surrounding her (that she's always dragged into) and she's smart and criticized by others for it.
Now how does that link with what I was saying? Guys and girls a like have no idea what the other one wants. You may think you know, but you don't! It slightly frustrates me that some guys have the mentality that they can't do anything romantic because it won't be appreciated or it won't be enough. If your girl is a trick (i.e. little girl) then yeah you risk her not liking it. If she's a girl then she's most likely think anything you do is cute, but she may have "ideas" about what "romantic" is. But if you have a mature girl (i.e. a woman not a little girl though I'd argue you can be a mature girl and not a woman and a woman on the outside, but a little girl on the inside) then romantic is just showing her you care.
I personally read books like Drama High because that's honestly the only place I can find romance because guys these days can be trifillin'. They either don't want to try to be romantic or they don't know how. The days of the gentlemen are gone. Now it's all about who has the biggest car and who has slept with the most girls well at least black guys. And then you have your pretty boys who take more time getting read than some girls. And the actual nice black guys are either taken or in a subcategory of the larger MISC. category. And white guys, most that I've encountered, can't handle me. They say I"m too loud or a bitch or too outspoken and I say....oh well forget you!....And other guys I just haven't dated or come in contact with so it wouldn't be fair to say something about their view of me. Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to judge these are just observations and there are of course exceptions to every rule.
I could go on and on but I won't lol. So this Valentine's day I'll either be staying inside and avoiding couples at all costs or be on a date with some lucky guy. But if your a 1 of 2, then Happy V day to ya'll and enjoy each others company and love. And if your a single like me then hey all I can say is keep looking and love will find you or be content as you are. Happy V day everyone and maybe next time I'll have a more happy blog.
Peace, Music, and Love
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tired
I know I'm always bitching on my blog but hey what are blogs for?
So I've that I don't like straight men......with the exception of a select few.
I was driving home from the movies last night and a nasty ass guy pulls up next to me making lude and sexual faces and gestures at me. I was flattered at first then disgusted then freaked out as he followed me for about blocks and continued his gestures at every light. Guys disgust me. And on top of that ex boyfriends just keep popping up with their same old crap, "I'm sorry", "Why can't you forgive me and move on", "I've changed". News flash! Yeah you are sorry, I will not forgive you and you have not changed because you are still the childish, immature, lame, and unsuccessful loser you were when we met, and when broke up. I don't even know why I bother.
I'm so done. I know I say it a lot but I'm seriously considering giving up guys and just going single. I mean I'll still have my children Johnny, Katie, Matt, Elise, Chris, Sweet Pea, and countless others. I mean all I want is to be happy with someone that understands me, but that could be hard seeing as how I am a difficult and hard to deal with lol
Its whatever though I'm not even gonna trip. I"m gonna live it up while I can and have fun (and start carrying my pepper spray). But if any of ya'll know a nice single guy....point them my way.
Peace and love can only exist if you wan it to
So I've that I don't like straight men......with the exception of a select few.
I was driving home from the movies last night and a nasty ass guy pulls up next to me making lude and sexual faces and gestures at me. I was flattered at first then disgusted then freaked out as he followed me for about blocks and continued his gestures at every light. Guys disgust me. And on top of that ex boyfriends just keep popping up with their same old crap, "I'm sorry", "Why can't you forgive me and move on", "I've changed". News flash! Yeah you are sorry, I will not forgive you and you have not changed because you are still the childish, immature, lame, and unsuccessful loser you were when we met, and when broke up. I don't even know why I bother.
I'm so done. I know I say it a lot but I'm seriously considering giving up guys and just going single. I mean I'll still have my children Johnny, Katie, Matt, Elise, Chris, Sweet Pea, and countless others. I mean all I want is to be happy with someone that understands me, but that could be hard seeing as how I am a difficult and hard to deal with lol
Its whatever though I'm not even gonna trip. I"m gonna live it up while I can and have fun (and start carrying my pepper spray). But if any of ya'll know a nice single guy....point them my way.
Peace and love can only exist if you wan it to
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