Hello my blog followers,
If this is the first of my blogs you're reading congrats! Your life was just made better....just kidding but I do appreciate all who read this and are interested in me and what I have to say/do.
So this paragraph will mostly be a preface to the blog.
My senior year in high school I decided I wanted to become a hilltopper and attend St. Edward's University in Austin as a musical theater major. After a semester there I decided I didn't like the program and a few other personal things (which may or may not be explained later in the blog......guess you'll have to keep reading :p) so I decided to come back to Houston and attend Houston Baptist University as a Vocal Performance Major.
Ok so now that that's been stated I can get to the more recent events. My closer friends know that over the last year I've been struggling in my personal life. I've been searching for myself and a place to fit in and it's been tough. I loved the friends that I made while attending St. Edwards (though they should SEND THEIR FRIEND A TEXT OR SOMETHING NOW AND THEN), but having a few friends and being in a program that you feel isn't tailored to your needs is a bit silly to me. Now because I recognize that I was a stupid teenager (and have a few stupid tendencies though not as many) I can admit this, I also left Austin for a stupid teenage reason....a "man". My primary reason was the program but there was a good 10% of me that came back for him. I know now that was one of the stupidst things I could have done because I've spent a year somewhere that I was not entirely happy.
Having said that , HBU is a great school.....just not for me. I'm too much of an independent person to be in such a conservative setting. And I thought the classical training would be enough to launch me into the world of musical theater, but I soon found out that I'd dug myself into a hole that until recently I thought I'd be stuck in. As I said for St. Edwards, I've made some really awesome friends at HBU, but no one that really understood me and yet another program for me.
Over Christmas break of 2011, I realized that something needed to change in my life because I was just miserable in about 80% of my life. My academics were seriously suffering and my GPA was the lowest it has ever been. My social life was pretty non existant and that's not how I wanted to remember my college years, friendless and boring. So I began my search to transfer....yet again. After doing some hardcore research I decided on Sam Houston State University in the small ton of Huntsville TX. There was a part of me that was about 10% unsure about this decision wondering if this is what God wanted for me. So I thought I'd join my roommate for her usual Thursday bible study to see if maybe I could be more clear. After the first few week I did become more clear, but but not about college thing, more or less personal things which is still good...but more on that later.
still with me...cool...you're awesome!
So I began working on the audition process for their nationally renound Musical theater program. After a minor setback I became a little discourage giving in to some belief that God did not want me there. But I held my head up high determined to make it work because this was something I wanted. Long story short, I overcame the set back and am now 190% sure that SHSU is the school for me. At the audition, I meet so many people who understood me and that made me really happy to know that once I'm there I won't have a problem fitting in at all.
This is the last paragraph I promise.
I must say I am the happiest I've been in a while knowing that I finally get to start over. Most people get to establish themselves and start over as a new person when they go to college. When I went to college I had a boyfriend I was attached to so I never got that experience at St. Edwards of going out with friends and stuff. I moved back to Houston with a boyfriend (for like a week) and no friends so I never really got a chance to start over because I never found a group that I fit in with, that I could be myself around. Though I do not regret going to HBU, I see it as a learning experience that I needed to go through. As far as what I learned in bible study, I realized that it was time to let go of the anger I was holding in towards someone for deceiving me and towards myself for being susceptible to such foolishness. So I would like to say to him even if he doesn't read this that I forgive him because I know that he didn't know any better and I'm sorry for being me and not conforming to who your mother thought I should be. At SHSU I'll finally get to start over no stupid boyfriend, no stupid program, and no insecurities about finding friends. I don't know if I"m in the musical theater program yet but at this point that not important. I LOVE their program, the activities, my apartment, everything.everything. If you're interested as to weather I get in or not just message me or something.
I'll close with saying thanks for reading and caring, I'm listening to 1950's love songs via the Time Life Teen Years Collection, and EAT 'EM UP BEARKATS!!!!
